Making Plans

Wow! It's been ages since I've posted on here! Please forgive me.

So, I'm planning on starting trying for a baby this year. It is both really exciting and so, so scary. I've spent the last couple of months busily trying to find as much information as I can about it all.

I had started out thinking I would go down the 'home insemination' route in a hotel room in a city called Aarhus in Denmark. They offered just what I wanted - anonymity. I could use an anonymous donor and they wouldn't know anything about me, either. I could do it all in the privacy of my own room (in the hotel). There were a few problems with this, the main being getting to Aarhus was either very expensive or very long. There are no direct flights there from local to me, meaning I would have to catch a connection in Copenhagen. Secondly, I have irregular cycles, so it would be quite difficult to plan.

So, I then started looking at other options. The first I found was a small practice, again in Aarhus (I think), which was run by midwives and which offered insemination. It seemed a lovely place, from the website, and I emailed them and they do treat a lot of British women. However, there were the same issues there, really.

So is started looking in to alternatives to that. Copenhagen itself has a number of fertility centres. Only I don't think you can go in and just buy sperm. So that got me thinking. What with my irregular cycles, it would probably be better to have the whole process medicalised to some extent. I haven't spoken to the clinic yet - I'm still a few months off trying yet - but I think IVF would probably be the route I would need to go down. and compared to over here, it actually seems relatively inexpensive.

So, I'm going to contact the clinic but have spent some of today coming up with questions I would need to ask them. Here is my list so far:

1-I'm aware of the need for close monitoring (USS, bloods etc). How do most of your women from overseas do this? Is it possible to get some of the monitoring done at a provide health centre in the UK? Will this be covered by the fees I pay you?
2-Will there always be someone involved in my care who speaks English and who is able to let me know what is going on? Will forms and literature be available in English for me? What about if I telephone?
3-How do I obtain medication? Will I need to get it in Denmark, or will you provide me with a script so I can get the medication back in the UK? Will there be any problems taking the medication on the aeroplane? Please explain the side effects of the medication and the regime. I understand some of the medications will be dependent on scan and blood results, will the new regime be available over the phone/email from you even if I have monitoring done in the UK?
4-What will the total cost be per cycle? Excluding medications, are the prices I see on your website what you will charge me? How much does the medication cost? Are there any ways I can bring down the cost?
5-How many women do you treat annually? What is the success rate, per cycle, of women delivering a live infant? How many cycles, on average, do women take to conceive a live infant?
6-At the time of embryo transfer, how many embryos will be transferred back to my uterus?

So that is all the questions I can think of at the moment, but will post more if I come up with them. If you have any other questions I should ask, please let me know.

Artificial Insemination

OK, following on from my post about being desperate for a baby, I have been doing some research.

Actually, I had started doing the research about a year ago. About a year ago, I also came to the conclusion that, in the UK, artificial insemination is very, very expensive. How could I afford to pay these fees and raise a baby? There are a huge number of other problems, too, which I encountered. Namely, since the change in the anonymity laws a few years ago (2005, I believe), there has been a huge reduction in the number of sperm donors, and more importantly, in the amount of sperm available.

From my research, there is only the opportunity to have artificial insemination in clinics in the UK. These clinics, and I'm not yet sure of my position on this, have the say on whether or not they treat a single woman. I understand that, as health professionals, they are responsible for their actions and omissions, and if inseminate someone who turns out to abuse or neglect that child, I suppose they, technically, could be held accountable for that.

However, people choosing to have a baby the conventional way have to seek no approval whatsoever. When the mother-to-be presents to the midwife, or the GP, they do not have to prove that they are going to be good parents.

Another thing with which I am not too comfortable, is the HEFA registration. I understand fully that there is a risk, a small risk, of that child unbeknown to them, meeting and falling in love with a half-sibling. However, getting pregnant with a one night stand may also pose the same risk, greater perhaps, as the semen could be ordered from anywhere in the country; a one night stand is likely to be had nearer to home.

Also, with the child having the right to know who their birth father is when they are 18 years old, or younger of getting married, I believe, what does HEFA do? Do they send a letter out on the child's 18th birthday? Or do they let the child contact them? What if it was never the right time to tell the child? What if the child was never in the right situation to process such information?

Having thoroughly thought all this through, I have decided that using a UK fertility clinic over here is not the right route for me.

There is at least one website on the internet which matches people up; men who are willing to donate and women wishing to receive sperm. In theory, this is great. It matches those in need with men of altruistic nature. However, there is no sort of screening. I know I mentioned considering a one night stand, but I don't think it is something I would be able to go through with. I just wouldn't feel comfortable using this service.

So, I have found an alternative. Denmark still allows anonymous donation of sperm. A huge proportion of their customers come from overseas, including the UK. And they provide sperm for self artificially inseminating. I mean, this is great. They ship to the UK. The sperm itself costs a minimal amount, the delivery is the major cost. They advise the use of two straws (I assume these are the equivalent of vials) per insemination. Now, if the delivery charge is like ordering from an online store, and the delivery charge is per order, rather than per item, then this is affordable. If, however, the delivery charge is per item, then it will be cheaper to fly to Denmark and self artificially inseminate in a hotel over there. I am, however, awaiting a response.

This is something I can definitely see myself doing. However (and this may be too much information) but my periods are a bit all over the place. I think the reason, or the main reason for this, may be because I have a few stone to lose. I have decided that I will lose this over the next six to nine months, and then go ahead with my plan.