More Plans

So, in addition to all the making plans about conceiving, I have also been trying to make plans about the practical side of becoming a mum. This whole process involves a lot of thinking. So, I have tried to come up with a list if everything I might need for when I (finally) become a mum.



1. Pram. I love the Silver Cross Heritage Collection. I would absolutely love the Balmoral (left), I think it is, by far, the most beautiful pram around. However, it doesn't collapse down at all, and I need something which will fold, to some extent, to fit in my car. So, I think I plan on going for the Kensington (right). It seems a little more practical than the Balmoral. It folds down slightly, so should fit in the boot of my (thankfully very spacious) car, and is slightly smaller, yet it is still absolutely beautiful and looks so comfortable for baby. It is also a little bit cheaper than the Balmoral - about £200. I would love it in pink - my absolute favourite colour - they do a beautiful pink and white in both, but I think I would go for navy. If I had a little boy, pink might not be the best option, whilst navy is more unisex and will keep cleaner looking. There are also a few accessories I would buy, such as the rain cover and the sun canopy.
(Both photos from the Silver Cross website: http://www.silvercrossbaby.com/Classic-Prams/ )

2. Crib. I'm not too fussed about a cot to begin with. For the first few months, baby would be in my room, anyway. And a crib would fit far better than a cot. Current guidelines are that babies sleep in whichever room their parents are in, including for day time naps. I would therefore plan on buying a crib to go in my room (top floor) and the living room (middle floor) and probably let baby sleep in the pram in the dining room (ground floor). I have found some absolutely gorgeous cribs - antique looking and elaborately designed - but, I have decided that I will just go for a simple, basic and cheaper crib as baby won't be in it very long. They are only recommended up to the age of 6 months. Several outlets have them for sale at £39.99, plus the cost of the mattress, which costs approximately £13. So that would be a little over £100 for two cribs.

3. Bedding. This would be another essential for when baby arrives. I love all the cute bedding sets which everywhere sells. But they seem so expensive, especially since they will frequently become soiled by baby. I much prefer flat to fitted sheets - I try and buy flat sheets for myself - it is the nurse within me which means that I must have lovely, crisp and neat hospital corners on my bed. Fitted sheets just do not have the same appearance. However, it seems quite difficult to find some reasonably priced flat sheets for a crib and a pram. So I will just have to continue my search for these. Blankets seem to sell for anything from £8 upwards, depending on whether they are plain or patterned.

4. Nappies. I would love to use real cloth nappies. I have read a lot about the impact of disposable nappies on babies, and I would much prefer not to use them. However, cloth nappies seem quite complicated when you first start looking at them. There are numerous different systems, some will fit from birth right through to potty training. Others need replacing as the baby grows. There are different ways of folding the nappy, different materials to choose from and loads of recommendations on washing. I also like the idea of reusable wipes rather than chemically disposable ones. I will also need a nappy mat, a changing bag and a nappy bail, to soak the dirty nappies. When I find a really good and clear website explaining it all, I will share it with you. Until then, I am still researching.

5. Clothes. Again, I'm not going to go for fancy outfits. Baby will wear something for a few hours and then it will be dirty. I plan on buying a bunch of sleep suits and vests - when I get pregnant, I don't want to find out what I am having - so they will have to be neutral. I will also purchase a couple of hats and cardigans, and, depending on the time of year, a snowsuit or two. Some of the cloth nappies require slightly bigger bottoms in the clothing to accommodate the extra bulk of the nappy.

6. Bathing. Nothing much is essential here. I will probably get a cheap baby bath, although even that isn't strictly essential. I will need cotton wool, I will just use towels I already have to dry baby. I don't buy in to the fact that babies need their own special little towels.

7. Feeding. I plan on breastfeeding and will need to buy in nothing special for this.

8. Play. Newborn babies see only in black and white for the first few weeks of life, so I will get a selection of black and white hanging toys and a play gym (preferably with black and white toys attached) for the first few weeks, and then move on to the brightly coloured sort.

9. Cot. I will get one for when baby moves in to their own room at at least six months of age. Again, there are some absolutely beautifully crafted cots out there, but there are also cots on the cheaper end of the spectrum. They are as little as £35 at Ikea and £39.99 at kiddiecare.com. Both require mattresses, but these are available at a reasonable cost. There would then be the cost of bedding to go with these.

10. Car seat. These seem to vary enormously in price. From what I can see, a lot of it is about the brand. They seem to run from about £20 (for brands which I have never heard of) to over £200. I quite like the Isofix ones, but I don't think my car has Isofix, so it will have to be one of the ones you have to strap in every time. My main criteria for selecting a car seat will be its safety. I want a make with a proven safety record. I also want one which isn't too expensive (if there is one for £100 which is just as safe as one for £200, I will be more inclined to go for the cheaper one), and I would like one with a hood, so baby has some protection from the sun or rain.

I would need some essentials for after baby - these would include maternity pads and breast pads. It would also help to have lots of things ready for myself after the baby - a well stocked home so that I didn't feel rushed to go out for a while with a new baby if I didn't have to, and a comfortable guest room. I would invite my mum to stay for a short while, just to help me get to grips with everything, and I would want her to feel comfortable.

I'm sure I've forgotten something very essential. If I have, feel free to leave me a comment.

Making Plans

Wow! It's been ages since I've posted on here! Please forgive me.

So, I'm planning on starting trying for a baby this year. It is both really exciting and so, so scary. I've spent the last couple of months busily trying to find as much information as I can about it all.

I had started out thinking I would go down the 'home insemination' route in a hotel room in a city called Aarhus in Denmark. They offered just what I wanted - anonymity. I could use an anonymous donor and they wouldn't know anything about me, either. I could do it all in the privacy of my own room (in the hotel). There were a few problems with this, the main being getting to Aarhus was either very expensive or very long. There are no direct flights there from local to me, meaning I would have to catch a connection in Copenhagen. Secondly, I have irregular cycles, so it would be quite difficult to plan.

So, I then started looking at other options. The first I found was a small practice, again in Aarhus (I think), which was run by midwives and which offered insemination. It seemed a lovely place, from the website, and I emailed them and they do treat a lot of British women. However, there were the same issues there, really.

So is started looking in to alternatives to that. Copenhagen itself has a number of fertility centres. Only I don't think you can go in and just buy sperm. So that got me thinking. What with my irregular cycles, it would probably be better to have the whole process medicalised to some extent. I haven't spoken to the clinic yet - I'm still a few months off trying yet - but I think IVF would probably be the route I would need to go down. and compared to over here, it actually seems relatively inexpensive.

So, I'm going to contact the clinic but have spent some of today coming up with questions I would need to ask them. Here is my list so far:

1-I'm aware of the need for close monitoring (USS, bloods etc). How do most of your women from overseas do this? Is it possible to get some of the monitoring done at a provide health centre in the UK? Will this be covered by the fees I pay you?
2-Will there always be someone involved in my care who speaks English and who is able to let me know what is going on? Will forms and literature be available in English for me? What about if I telephone?
3-How do I obtain medication? Will I need to get it in Denmark, or will you provide me with a script so I can get the medication back in the UK? Will there be any problems taking the medication on the aeroplane? Please explain the side effects of the medication and the regime. I understand some of the medications will be dependent on scan and blood results, will the new regime be available over the phone/email from you even if I have monitoring done in the UK?
4-What will the total cost be per cycle? Excluding medications, are the prices I see on your website what you will charge me? How much does the medication cost? Are there any ways I can bring down the cost?
5-How many women do you treat annually? What is the success rate, per cycle, of women delivering a live infant? How many cycles, on average, do women take to conceive a live infant?
6-At the time of embryo transfer, how many embryos will be transferred back to my uterus?

So that is all the questions I can think of at the moment, but will post more if I come up with them. If you have any other questions I should ask, please let me know.